


Anywhere and Nowhere

by ormac



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Deviates From Canon, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, no y/n
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:56:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ormac/pseuds/ormac
Summary: During the peak of Odin and Hela's terror, your parents were a particularly annoying pair of Vanir rebels, unwilling to give in to their rule. When they were... disposed of, Odin got hold of you and banished you to an island, far away from anywhere you'd been before in your short life. You're stuck there, so as not to be a hassle for the Allfather, and over the centuries, a pattern emerges.An injured man arrives. You heal him. You fall in love. He stays. He leaves.It feels like a particularly cruel trick on Odin's part when the latest one to arrive is his own son, barely alive due to his should-be fatal neck injury. Will this one be just like the others, or is the God of Lies actually telling the truth when he claims he can get you out of here?
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 41
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

You could tell that it was going to be one of those days from the second you woke up. The air felt different, it felt tense, and the pinky hue of the sky as you looked out your bedroom window only confirmed it. All you had to do now was wait for the poor, heroic man to wash up on the beach and the course would begin again.

Two of the previous men, your first and third, had arrived mid-morning, a few hours after you’d woken up, while the second didn’t float in until after lunch. But today, you didn’t see anyone at all come over the horizon, and you were starting to think you were mistaken. Maybe you were finally going to be spared from restarting the cycle. Meet, heal, fall in love, lose. Three different men you’d saved the lives of, and you still felt no closer to escape.

Your island was small, with just enough space for your two-bedroomed cabin and a wood, where several types of animals lived that you could hunt if you chose to. You grew vegetables just outside your home, before the gentle slope down to the sea shore started, although you didn’t really need to. It was strange; your food storage would remain filled, even if you didn’t grow or catch food. Some parts of your life on the island seemed ideal, and you almost thought you could be happy if you weren’t so alone or restricted. All that you had for company was your greyhound, Blue. It made your punishment even crueller in your head if you couldn’t find much to complain about.

You were a prisoner. A well-fed and -housed one, but a prisoner all the same, kept out of the way so you didn’t cause trouble.

The day passed by treacherously slowly. You tried to get on with your normal routine, checking the food you were growing and making sure your cabin was as normal, but even as you settled down to read after lunch you were distracted. You’d expected that the new guy would have arrived by now, but there was still no sign of anything—or anyone—arriving. 

Honestly, you were kind of glad. Three individual heartbreaks over the course of your imprisonment were not fun at all to go through. You didn’t want an inevitable fourth to come along. _Especially when there’s still a chance that…_ No. You stopped yourself. Nobody was going to come back for you. It was useless to get your hopes up yet again, no matter what Number Three had promised—centuries must have passed since his parting, if he was going to come back he would’ve done by now.

If anyone even _could_ find your little pocket of the universe again.

The sun was setting, and you had pretty much accepted that nobody was going to come and you were mistaken, when you heard the soft sound of the sea get a little louder. _At this time?_ You shot up anyway, and dashed out your front door, swiftly followed by Blue.

Indeed, about fifty metres away and slowly getting closer was an unconscious body on a raft. The usually calm waves were a little stronger, pushing him towards you more quickly, and you waited with bated breath for him to get close enough to be seen more clearly.

Number One had come to you with several arrows sticking out of him, thankfully in non-lethal places. Number Two had been stabbed in the gut. Number Three had broken his left arm and leg. This one, as near-death as Two was, was probably the worst yet.

His body, for the most part, seemed untouched, but… gods, his _neck_. It looked completely mangled and crushed, and the man’s eyes just stared upwards, unblinking. You couldn’t even tell if his heart was beating, if he was still alive. You closed your eyes, using your seidr to try and detect a heartbeat, and you sighed with relief as you found one. Now you had to worry about keeping it, and getting rid of the horrific purple tone of his skin and the terrifying redness around his eyes. 

You couldn’t exactly carry the man yourself; you didn’t want to further damage his spine, so you carefully made the raft hover above the ground and lifted it into your home. It was very difficult to get it upstairs, but somehow you managed to transport the almost dead man into the guest room and onto the bed, with the duvet pulled back away from him.

The second he was down, flat on his back, you started thinking about how to fix his neck. His spinal cord was completely messed up, but first of all you needed to get his vertebrae back in place. You looked at him, almost assessing him, and used your fingers to gently close his eyelids; them staying open was starting to unnerve you.

You took a deep breath, and tried to focus on connecting with the individual bones in his neck. It was difficult and tiring, but you managed to push them all into the correct position and fix up any cracks they’d sustained, then you moved on to his blood vessels, restructuring the arteries and veins so blood flow could continue. As you did all of this, you periodically checked his heartbeat, which was slow, but mostly steady.

Finally, you moved onto his spinal cord and muscles, which were perhaps the hardest parts so far. You were beginning to feel the effects of tiredness now, and it was almost impossible to be as delicate as was required to bring the man fully back to life. Eventually, however, you managed to put everything back in its correct place, although he wasn’t close to being completely healed yet. You’d need a lot of time for that.

When you were confident that everything was the way it should be, you allowed yourself to slump down on the floor, leaning your head against the side of the mattress. You were shattered— _as was he_ , a small part of your head pointed out—but you couldn’t let yourself sleep just yet, as tempting as it was. You needed to give the man’s neck some kind of support; he was incredibly weak in this current state, and it wouldn’t be good if there was permanent damage, so you used another bit of your seidr to make some kind of invisible support around his neck to keep it in a good position. There. That was probably everything you could do at the minute, at least until he woke up.

The man would live. Everything would be okay for now. You were almost half asleep as you pulled yourself up using the bedframe, checking the man one final time and covering him with the duvet. Then, you stumbled over to the sofa you kept in the guest room, and collapsed asleep, completely drained.

* * *

In the morning, you felt much more alert than before, and after you ate a quick breakfast you brought up a pitcher of water you were sure your guest would want when he woke up. You started to feed more of your magic into the man’s neck, attempting to speed up the healing process, but you were sure that it would take months to heal. There hopefully wouldn’t be any permanent damage, if everything progressed as it should.

You summoned the man some clothes which were probably better for resting in than the leather in which he’d arrived, and then moved him a little so more of him was resting on the pillows and he was in a more elevated position. It may be less stiff when he eventually woke up.

_When he eventually woke up_. When you’d need to introduce yourself to each other, and then the process would begin once more. You wondered how long he’d stay. Number One stayed for ten months, Two for only six, but Three stayed for a whole year and a half. Maybe Number Four, whoever he was, would be merciful and leave the second he was healed, rather than drag everything out like Three did. 

Centuries had surely passed since he left, but Three’s face was still fresh in your mind. His soft, blond hair. His tearful promise to come back for you, although he needed to return home. The promise he _broke_. It still hurt to think of him—to think of any of them—and lying in front of you was just an addition to that hurt, even if he didn’t know it yet.

For almost a week he slept in your care, rarely even stirring slightly. You were incredibly tired yourself, focusing as much of your seidr as possible on the unconscious man’s deeply bruised neck. 

He could’ve died. He _should’ve_ died. You had no idea who he was, you had no way of pinpointing where he was from, but you dreaded to think about the fight that had broken his neck and sent him to you. You’d almost certainly be able to fully heal him, given time, but you were getting really curious about how he got here. About who he was. You didn’t even know his name.

Over the course of the week, you’d spent almost all of your time in the guest room, continuing to sleep on the sofa there, Blue on the floor next to you, just in case the man woke up. The longest time any of the others were knocked out was Number One, and that was still only for just under a day. You were getting nervous. 

You tried to pass the time by reading, but you couldn’t let yourself fall into the books the way you normally could. Instead, your gaze kept being drawn back to this man in your home, sleeping soundly in the bed. His face was relatively narrow, framed by shoulder-length black hair, and you couldn’t help but find him attractive even as he slept. Fuck. You could already feel that affection starting to build, and you hated yourself for it. Part of you wanted him to never wake up so you didn’t have to go through the whole cycle again. You’d be all caught up in the rush, letting yourself hope futilely that this one would be different, that this time you could leave.

Each time he made any slight movement or noise, you found your stomach churning with nerves as you immediately rushed over to him, in the case that he woke up and needed your help. With every sign of life he gave, you were reminded how unready you were to meet him. You didn’t know him yet, but he already terrified you. He had from the second that he arrived on that small, serene raft from over the horizon. 

* * *

It finally happened halfway through his sixth day in your home. You were sitting in the room, trying to distract yourself with an old favourite book of yours, when you heard a sigh. Jumping up, you were at his side within a second, scanning his features carefully. He did nothing for another few seconds, and you were just about to return to your seat when he shifted, more than you’d seen him move before. 

You found yourself watching with bated breath, waiting for something else to happen. He moved again, and then his eyes slowly flickered open, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the light. He looked around, almost narrowing his eyes, and he caught sight of you barely a second later. 

“Hey, it- it’s alright,” you said quietly. “You’re safe here. How do you feel?”

He tried to sit up with a shock, no doubt realising the pain he was in, and opened his mouth like he was going to say something. “Who are you? Where am I?” he almost choked, his throat sounding incredibly dry, and you poured him a glass of water from the pitcher on the side, handing it to him. His hand shook slightly, but he managed to take a sip even in his mostly reclined position. After the first bit of water, he finished the glass quickly, and you poured him another, which he started on again.

“How do you feel?” you asked again, looking at him with concerned eyes. “How is your neck?”

“ _Sore_ ,” the man got out, his voice sounding a little smoother now. “Where am I?” he repeated.

“You’re on my island. You arrived almost a week ago, with a damaged neck, and I’ve been working on healing you. There’s a support around your neck now, and I’ve been trying to numb the pain as best I can.” He nodded slowly, taking everything in. “Wh- who are you? What’s your name?” you asked.

He coughed, clearing his throat. “I am Prince Loki, of Asgard.”

_Oh no. This was not good._ “Wait. So- Odin is your father?”

“Yes.”

You swallowed. “I think I’ve heard of you.”

Prince Loki of Asgard rolled his eyes. “What a surprise.”

You felt slightly sick. Of course Odin sent one of his own children to you. Of course he did. These men were getting worse. A Light Elf you could deal with, a Vanir too—even if it hurt that little bit more when he left you—and after he sent an Asgardian, you thought it could only really get better, unless it was something crazy like a Frost Giant. But no. You just took a deep, shaky breath and tried to seem unbothered.

“Is there anything I can get for you, Loki?” you asked. “What do you need?”

He looked around the room, inspecting his surroundings. “I need to eat. And then I need to leave.”

You looked down. “Okay. I’ll get you some food.”

As quickly as you could, you prepared some bread and butter with some slices of fruit on the side, and returned to the guest room. Loki was trying to sit up, but wincing in pain, and your eyes widened.

“No! Please, Loki, you have to stay where you are for now. Your neck isn’t healed.” You approached him, trying to gently push him back down onto the bed without dropping the food.

He swatted your hands away in annoyance, but was clearly still hurting as he tried to move around. “I don’t care if my neck is healed or not. I have to _go_. I am needed urgently.”

You sighed. “Please, stay here until you are at full health. Time works differently here. While you are on the island, the rest of the universe does not progress.”

Loki searched your face like he was trying to decide whether or not to believe you. You were telling him the truth; time seemed to freeze whenever someone else was with you. For One and Three, you seemed to be in an eternal summertime, and with Two, it was wintry for the whole six months he stayed with you.

Eventually, Loki relaxed back against the pillows. “Alright. I choose to believe you. But the second I can, I must go.”

That worked with you. The less this was dragged out, the better. “Okay. Now eat, you need to get your strength back.” You handed him the plate, deciding to hold off on asking what happened for now. That could wait, and you knew that it didn’t necessarily cause the best reaction in people. “I’m hoping that you’ll be fully healed in a month or two. It depends on how well your body takes to the magic.”

"I bet I could do that in half the time,” Loki said. You’d forgotten that he could supposedly do magic too.

“Well, how about you help me when you’re ready, and we can heal you together.” 

Loki looked away from his plate and back up to you. “If that’s what’s best,” he said, then paused. “Is there anyone else here?”

You shook your head. “No, just us and my dog. It’s been centuries since I’ve seen anyone else.” He finally seemed to take notice of the fawn-coloured greyhound who was sitting in the corner. “She’s called Blue,” you said.

“Okay. Hello, Blue.” Loki finished the last piece of fruit, and you took back the plate. “You still haven’t told me who you are,” he said.

“Oh.” You introduced yourself, and Loki furrowed his brows in thought, almost like he recognised your name. Maybe his father had said who you were, the annoying child of some rebels who’d tried to defeat him. It was unlikely though; you probably weren’t important enough in the grand scheme of things. 

If he did know of you, he didn’t say so, and just laid his head back against the pillow, closing his eyes. “Is there anything else you need?” you asked. “Or would you like to be left alone?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay. Just call for me if you need me. I’ll be back upstairs in a few hours, with some tea.”

Loki didn’t respond with any more than a slight nod of his head, but you were alright with that. You turned and left the guest—well, now you may as well call it Loki’s—room, Blue trotting alongside you. You absentmindedly stroked her head, grateful for her company. 

You spent the next hour checking the vegetables and cleaning the house, having neglected them both over the past week, and thinking about Loki. You tried to remember what Number Three had told you about him, but it was difficult—you couldn’t remember much beyond his magic, he was the God of Mischief, whatever that meant, and he really wanted to be King of Asgard. Great. Another guy just like his father.

All of this just made you dread the next however many weeks, until Loki got better and left you. You were almost looking forward to his departure—maybe if he didn’t linger, you wouldn’t have enough time to fall for him and make things even worse.

When you felt like everything was as it should be, you picked up a book and started to read for a bit. Blue settled next to you, and you held your book with one hand, petting her in the other. You wondered what she’d think of Loki. When Number Three was around, he used to take her on walks around the island, and she grew almost as close to him as she was to you. 

After a while, you went back upstairs to check on Loki. You cracked the door open slightly, and there he was, sleeping flat on his back, looking rather normal aside from the purple marks covering his neck. As soon as the bruises were healed, he’d probably be completely fine. 

Satisfied, you started to prepare tea; some fish you’d caught with vegetables. You weren’t sure how hungry Loki would be, so you just made him a similar portion size to what you had. It didn’t take long to prepare the food before cooking it—if you could say anything good about this place, it had made you a much better cook than you used to be. 

When it was all ready, you walked upstairs again to the guest room. “Loki?” you called out as you entered, and he stirred instantly, labouring to sit up slightly. You put down the plates, going to help him, but he moved away from your touch.

“It’s nice to have a full meal again,” he said when you gave him the plate and sat down on a free part of the bed. 

“Haven’t you had one in a while?” you asked, unable to stop yourself. You were getting more and more curious about what had happened to Loki, especially his neck.

He bristled slightly at your question, but nodded his head. “Yeah. Spaceships don’t exactly provide all the opportunities for fresh food.”

“Spaceships? You’ve been to more than the Nine Realms?”

“Yes. I’m guessing you have too, considering where we are.”

You paused, thinking. You’d never thought of that before, which was odd considering how long you’d been here. “Do- do you know where we are?”

“I haven’t had much time to think it over,” Loki said, “but it doesn’t look like anywhere I recognise. How long have you been here?”

“I’d say around two thousand years, but I’m not sure.”

Loki raised his eyebrows. “That’s longer than I’ve been alive.”

“Yep,” you said. “But like I said, time works differently here. My age is essentially frozen, but as long as I’m on my own, time progresses quicker than the outside world. A lot quicker. But everything seems to stop when other people like you are here.”

“Seems a bit like a large interdimensional pocket then, but I couldn’t be sure yet. Kind of… anywhere in the universe, but also nowhere that can be accessed by anyone by accident. There must be a _reason_ I’m here. How many other people have stayed with you?”

“Three.”

“Who were they?”

You swallowed. “You don’t ask me about them, I won’t ask you about your injury. For now.”

Loki just nodded, and focused on his food again. “Deal.”

You ate your tea too. It wasn’t anything special, but you were hungrier than you’d realised, and you ate it quite quickly. The two of you were silent as you ate, and you appreciated that; you didn’t really know what you could talk about with Loki yet.

“When can I get up again?” he eventually asked. 

You thought it over as you swallowed your mouthful of fish. “If everything progresses normally, a few days. But it’s best not to overwork yourself; I’d wait a little longer before going further than this room.”

“I’ll move around as much as I want,” he said, almost glaring at you.

“Alright. But you _did_ ask me.” _Prick_ , you added silently.

When you’d both finished your food, you stood up and collected his plate. “I’ll put these away. I think I’ll go to bed soon, but you can still call for me if you need me. I should be able to hear you.”

Loki nodded. “Okay.” He paused. “Where do you sleep?”

“The kitchen floor,” you deadpanned. “No. In my bedroom.”

He rolled his eyes.

“See you tomorrow, Loki.”

“See you tomorrow.”

You turned and left, followed by Blue, leaving his door open halfway. After cleaning the plates and cutlery, you decided to sit outside for a little while, and watch the sunset.

Although the sun here on your island acted the same way as it did on Vanaheim, something about it was different in how it lit up the sky. There were so many different colours as it sank over the horizon, and the open-air nature of the island meant that you could really appreciate it. Even after two thousand years here, it took your breath away.

You still couldn’t help but miss Vanaheim, with all of its beautiful greenery. You missed climbing trees more than you would’ve expected; sure, there was the wood on the island, but it didn’t feel the same. You missed the village where your parents raised you, before Odin and his daughter burnt it to the ground and your family ran away to start a resistance movement. You missed the people—you’d give anything to see your friends again, although you supposed that they’d be either dead or old now. When Number Two had arrived, you were excited to ask him all about what had happened there, but he turned out to have been from a completely different region, and had never even heard of your friends. 

After the sun had completely set, and the bright colours in the sky had darkened slightly, you went back inside, and up the stairs.

As you passed, you took a quick peek into Loki’s room to check on him. He was still awake, and the two of you shared a glance as you paused in the doorway. You offered him a small smile, unsure of whether you should say something. Loki just raised his eyebrows in response, an unreadable expression on his face. All you could gather from it was that he definitely didn’t want to talk to you.

You felt conflicted as you laid in bed that night. Part of you was glad that he wasn’t being nice to you and making plans to stay—you didn’t want to immediately fall in love with him, and there was more of a chance that you wouldn’t if he acted like a prick. But at the same time, you didn’t want your next few weeks to be completely miserable. Chances were that you’d wind up loving him anyway; after all, you’d hated Number Three at first, and him leaving was the hardest to deal with. 

It was just impossible to imagine. You, falling in love with the son of the king who’d imprisoned you for two millennia. Embracing the black-haired man in the other room, who was standoffish and had responded to you saving his life with irritation. You couldn’t let it happen.

_Just focus on healing him_ , you thought. _And then he’ll be gone forever._


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning, it took you a second to remember that you weren’t alone anymore. You sat up and stretched, yawning, then slipped out of bed. You’d be lying if you said you were looking forward to seeing Loki, but you walked over to his room anyway. Might as well get it over with.

Unsurprisingly, your guest was already awake. “Good morning,” you said, hovering in the doorway. “Can I get you some breakfast?”

“Morning,” he replied. “That’d be good.”

_ Did this man know how to use manners? Were please and thank you non-existent in the future?  _ “Alright,” you said, and went downstairs to make some food. You decided on a sandwich for the two of you—one of the ‘perks’ of the island was a self-replenishing cupboard of food, which provided you with all of the basics. You still preferred to grow and catch as much as you could, as it gave you something to do, but the cupboard meant that you could eat more than just vegetables and meat.

You took both of your meals back upstairs—you may as well eat in Loki’s room—and handed over his plate. He didn’t say anything, but he kept his eyes on you as you went to sit on the sofa near the bed. 

“I don’t need too much detail, and you don’t need to share more than what you’re comfortable with,” you started, “But it would be helpful if you could give me some information about your injury, like the kind of being that inflicted it. If there may be other effects.”

Loki was silent for a few seconds, considering what he should say to you. “A Titan. He strangled me.” he finally said.

You raised your eyebrows. You’d heard of Titans, but you weren’t familiar with them beyond knowing that they were powerful. Even more so than Asgardians. “I’m surprised you’re still alive,” you couldn’t help but say. 

“You’re not the only one.”

Eating your sandwich, you thought over the injury. The worst was over with, now he just needed time. Luckily, here, he’d have plenty of that. “Do you think he could’ve… I don’t know, cursed you with something? Something hidden? I didn’t see anything when I healed you this week, but I thought I should check with what you thought just in case.”

“I doubt it. He just wanted me dead. He was rather effective in that manner.”

“Evidently not effective enough.”

Loki looked down at his plate, then flicked his eyes back up to meet yours. “I just… I don’t understand. I should be dead. One second, I’m on that spaceship, being choked to death, the next, I’m waking up here. It makes no sense.”

You shrugged. “It doesn’t. Usually people arrive here pretty injured, but I saw you and thought you were already a corpse. Didn’t realise you were still alive until I found the heartbeat.”

“I suppose you must be a rather skilled healer to restructure my neck like that. Who taught you?”

Wow. You guessed that was the closest thing to a compliment you’d ever get from Loki. “My parents.”

“And where are you from?”

“Vanaheim.”

He tilted his head to one side. “Why are you here?”

You clenched your jaw and stood up. “Let’s not get into that. I’ll go and wash up, then we’ll see about speeding up your recovery.”

When you came back, you perched on the side of the bed. “I’m just going to remove the neck brace for a second and see how you’re doing,” you explained. Loki nodded, and you carefully placed your hand on his neck, closing your eyes as you scanned it. It was alright—better than you’d expected—but still not to the point where he’d be able to get up.

“How is it?” Loki asked, looking up at you.

“It’s okay. I’ve been focusing some of my seidr on you since I fixed you up on the first night, so you’ve been healing pretty steadily. This morning I think I’ll use a bit more. If you help—if you can—we might be able to get you up and about by the end of the day.”

He may have tried to mask it, but you still caught the flash of happiness on Loki’s face when you said that. “Good. Shall we get started then?”

You both spent the next two hours or so trying to speed up the natural healing of Loki’s neck, staying mostly silent as you did so. You didn’t mind the quiet—you were used to it after all—but a part of you was itching to ask questions about the Titan, and the spaceship, and why Loki was hurt in the first place. 

Eventually, Loki spoke. “I’m going to try and get up now.”

“Are you sure?” you asked. “That might not be wise.”

He shot you a look. “Good thing I’m not the God of Wisdom then, isn’t it,” he said, brushed your hand away from his neck, and started to move. You could see the movement was hurting him, and cast a small pain-masking spell. He noticed, flicking his eyes over to you, but didn’t say anything.

Soon, he was sitting up, his legs over the side of the bed. You offered your arm, and surprisingly, he took it, leaning some of his weight onto you as he struggled onto his feet. You guessed that they must be pretty shaky after a week of unuse. He managed, however, and didn’t need your help for too much longer to walk, soon taking relatively steady steps around the room.

“Well done,” you said, unable to stop your smile.

Loki was smiling too. It was the first time you’d seen him do so, and it actually made him look quite…  _ nice _ . Your chest lifted a little. “This is good,” he said. “I shall leave the day after tomorrow. I should be fully healed by then.”

That caught you off-guard, and any lightness rushed out of you in one breath, leaving you feeling oddly sad. Of course, you were expecting it, but damn,  _ that  _ soon? “Oh- alright.” You paused. “Do you think you can manage the stairs? I can show you to the main room.”

Loki nodded, opening the door and going into the corridor. “So this is the rest of your house,” he said, as he stood at the top of the staircase, from which he could see most of the main room on the ground floor. 

“Indeed it is.”

Gripping the banister, Loki went to take the first step. His foot slipped slightly, and within a second you were at his side to make sure he didn’t fall over. “I’m fine,” he said stubbornly, but didn’t push you from him. Instead, he put one of his arms around your shoulder, using you for support again.

It took a minute or two, but eventually the two of you managed to get to the bottom of the staircase. Loki immediately removed his arm again, looking around the spacious room; the kitchen was on one side and the seating area was on the other. He walked over to the open front door, and stepped outside.

You followed him, watching his face as he seemingly surveyed his surroundings. He looked quite serious, and you almost felt the need to laugh at his appraisal of where you lived. “How big is it?” he asked.

“Not huge. I wouldn’t be able to see you on the other side of the island, but I  _ could  _ hear you call,” you explained. “Big enough for privacy.”

He nodded. “Sounds alright. It seems like a very nice island.”

“I suppose it is. There’s no danger anywhere, no animals that can really hurt you. A few deer, some rabbits. Fish in the little lake. I can show you tomorrow if you’d like.”

“Perhaps.” Loki turned back to you, meeting your eyes. “What have you done all these years?”

His gaze was intense, and you moved your eyes away, instead looking out over the sea. “I read. The bookshelf; something changes the books out every week if I leave them there. I garden, or gather, or fish. Really, with the way time works, it hasn’t felt as long as it has been. The people who come update me on what year it is, but I can guess based on how seasons come and go.” You left out the way things had changed—or, rather, hadn’t changed—recently. The past few days, there had been no difference in seasons, and you didn’t know why. You didn’t want to make Loki overthink things, especially when he’d be leaving so soon anyway. 

“And time freezes completely when someone else is on the island?”

You nodded. “Yep. So no matter how long you stay here, nothing changes in the outside world.”

“Nothing?” 

“Nothing. I’m sure of it.” 

The two of you were silent for a few seconds, just breathing in the fresh outside air. Loki probably appreciated being outside after his week stuck in your room, even if he was unconscious for nearly all of it. 

You opened your mouth, working up the courage for what you were about to say. “How about you stay for a little longer?” You asked quietly. Loki stiffened beside you, and you added in a rush, “Not too much longer! But you’re clearly going through a lot. It could be beneficial to take a short break from it all, make sure you’re at your strongest, before you go back and take on this Titan guy.”

You dared to peek up at him, and you watched as he swallowed, thinking. “Maybe I will,” he finally said. “I do need to be at my best when I return. I owe my brother that.”

“Your brother? Thor?” You heard yourself ask. 

“Yes.”

“Thunder, right?”

“Yes.”

You were glad you’d remembered correctly. “With the hammer?”

Loki snorted. “Not anymore.”

“Oh.” You wanted to ask why, but something about Loki’s tone stopped you. Maybe it had something to do with what put him here in the first place. You didn’t say anything for a while, and just watched the waves slowly lap at the shore.

Eventually, you spoke up again. “It’ll be after lunchtime now. Would you like me to make you something?”

“Sure.”

You led Loki over to the main sofa, and he sat down with a sigh. “Would a salad be okay?” you asked. “Keep lunch light, and we can have a more substantial tea?”

“Sounds good,” Loki said absentmindedly, and you got to preparing the food. You made it with vegetables you’d grown yourself, the only extra being the slight bit of dressing you’d used. It didn’t take long, and soon, you handed Loki his bowl and sat down in the armchair to eat your own.

Again, you were both quiet as you ate, and you finished your meal relatively quickly. Loki’s bowl was empty soon after, and you got up to take it back from him to wash.

“Is it alright with you if I go for a quick walk now?” you asked him, and Loki nodded.

“That’s fine, I’ll sit here and watch the sea.”

“Cool. Like I said, I’ll take you further tomorrow, I just don’t want to risk it right now.”

You turned to leave, but stopped when you heard Loki say your name. “I just wanted to say-” he started, looking up at you, “Thank you. For helping me. Maybe I won’t stay here long, but I do appreciate what you’ve done very much.”

You weren’t really sure how to respond, giving him a small smile and nod. “It’s no trouble. I’m just glad you’re going to be alright.”

“I will be.”

It was almost funny, you thought to yourself. You were as bad at taking gratitude as Loki was at giving it out. “Good. I’ll see you in a bit, then.”

This time, Loki didn’t call you back as you turned and walked through the front door. You felt yourself staring at your feet while you followed your normal path, trying to ignore how quickly your heart was beating in your chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's chapter two! It's a bit shorter than the first, my apologies, but I hope you like it anyway :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” you asked, as you stood in the living room with Loki. “With the uneven ground, I mean?”

Loki just rolled his eyes. “Of course I am. With our combined healing, I feel almost as good as usual. Just a little sore.”

You weren’t sure you believed him—his injury had been so severe—but you hadn’t been able to find anything seriously wrong yesterday, and his movement this morning actually looked pretty strong. “Alright then. Let’s show you around the island.”

You led Loki outside, briefly looking up at the sky. It was clear—as was the norm for summertime here—and you guessed that it would remain that way for the entirety of Loki’s stay. Number Two had arrived in the middle of a light shower of rain, and for the whole six months he stayed with you, it was wet. Nothing torrential, thankfully, but part of you felt that maybe he would have stayed longer if the weather was prettier and he could appreciate more of your island. Or maybe if Blue had been in less of a perpetually bad mood. 

Not that he mattered now; you had a new guest to deal with. “I’ll take you around the beach parts first,” you said. “Then through the woods.”

Loki nodded, and you set off walking. You didn’t try and say anything, and neither did he—what did you even have to talk about? Anything meaningful had basically been put off-limits by one of you. And you weren’t really in the mood for small talk today. 

So you just kept walking in silence, watching Blue as she walked around in front of you. It only lasted for a few minutes, but it felt like eternity. You were used to these awkward patches without talking—Number One and Two weren’t the most talkative of people, especially at the start—but that didn’t really make it any easier. 

Eventually, the first patch of beach ended, your path blocked by an outcropping of rock that formed a small cliff over the sea. You turned to Loki. “It’s alright, I won’t make you climb it, we can just cut through a few trees. Let’s not go too far in though, there’s a spring that comes from these rocks, and it makes a little stream after a bit. We don’t want to get wet.” You gave an uncomfortable little laugh, and didn’t wait for a response from Loki before you headed in through the trees. 

When you got back onto the sand, you turned back to make sure Loki was alright, and he looked it, so you waited for him to catch up and then carried on walking.

He was the first to speak next, which surprised you. “Are you usually this untalkative with your guests?” Loki asked. 

“No- I just don’t know what to talk to you about yet,” you said. 

Loki thought for a second. “Okay. Why don’t you tell me about the previous people who’ve stayed here?”

You turned to him with a glare. “I thought we agreed that if I didn’t pry, you wouldn’t either.”

“That’s true,” Loki admitted. “But I’m willing to divulge if you are. And if it means we don’t spend our time together in complete silence. Hey, we’ll probably never see each other again after I leave here. You have nothing to lose by telling me anything.”

Nothing to lose. You knew he was making a good point, but it still felt difficult… it was your personal policy not to talk too much about those who had gone. But you didn’t want to stay in this tense bubble of no talking, either. “Fine. But minimal details, and some things I don’t share.”

“Good with me. I ask a question, then you. So go on—who was the first person here? After you, of course. Tell me about them.”

You swallowed. It wasn’t an unpredictable question, it made sense, but it was still difficult to talk about. “His name was Colby. He was from Alfheim.” You’d never been to Alfheim before—you’d never even left Vanaheim before you were packed off to your island—but you’d met a few Light Elves before. You were quarter Light Elf yourself, your maternal grandfather having fallen in love with your grandmother on a trip to Vanaheim and deciding to stay there with her, so you automatically felt a sense of kinship with Colby, even if it wasn’t huge. 

“He floated in on his raft mid-morning, after being shot by some arrows. They weren’t too bad injuries, thankfully, but I think he enjoyed being doted on and taken care of.” You suppressed a grin when Loki wrinkled up his nose at that.

Colby had really confused you with his arrival. After he was better, you bombarded him with questions about the outside world, finally learning that almost a century had passed since you woke up here, confused that he hadn’t seemed to do anything to invoke the wrath of Odin. In fact, Colby was one of the warriors in the Alfheim division of Odin’s army, and was fighting for him when he received his injuries and woke up here. 

The worst part was realising that he wasn’t trapped, and could leave at any time. The raft that had accompanied him here stayed, but when you tried to get on, there was  _ something  _ that wouldn’t let you. Colby could, however, and one time he sat on it just to see what would happen only for the sea to start carrying him away—he jumped off and swam back to you, and the raft followed, waiting ever-patiently for the day he chose to leave for good. 

“How long did he stay for?” Loki asked. 

“Ten months,” you said, and Loki raised his eyebrows. “It didn’t feel like that long, though. Time with him went super quickly.” 

It had gone quickly, even though you made a tally of every day he spent on the island. Colby was cheerful and fun, and he’d taught you a more efficient method of catching fish and growing your plants. He’d started to almost feel like a partner until he decided to leave.  _ I have to get back to my division _ , he’d said. At the time, you hadn’t fully realised the way time froze when your island had a guest.  _ And my friends. And my mum. But I promise, if I ever meet Odin, I’ll ask him to free you. _

Much good that did. While Colby was there, you’d got used to the human contact. You adored Blue, but she couldn’t exactly hold a conversation with you—the Allspeak you were gifted with didn’t cover animals fully, so all you could really do was be able to read her emotions and wants well. And when Colby was gone, you were shocked at how empty your house felt now, and how quickly the seasons changed; with Colby, it was always summer. That sudden change had made you realise that when you weren’t alone, time froze. It seemed Odin didn’t want you to inconvenience your visitors by taking any meaningful time out of their lives. 

“Is ten months longer than your other guests were?”

You swallowed. “Number Two was six months. Number Three was eighteen months.”

“Damn,” Loki said. “Well, I got my question answered. It’s your turn.”

“Okay.” You thought for a few seconds. Loki hadn’t been too deep with his questions, so you couldn’t exactly ask him something horrifically personal. “The Titan. Who was he? What did he want?” You guessed that wouldn’t be the worst question.

Loki paused, thinking over his answer. The back of your house was nearby now, so you led Loki in through the trees, on one of the semi-paths you’d made over the years. You may as well take him straight to the small lake in the centre of the island, where you’d spent many hours just sitting and thinking.

“Have you ever heard of the Infinity Stones?” Loki asked, and you shook your head. “Understandable. Well, they’re essentially six incredibly powerful stones, tied to six aspects of the universe. The Titan who injured me—his name is Thanos—wants to get hold of all six, and rid the universe of half of all life.

You blinked. “So he’s crazy.”

“Essentially. I was in possession of one of the stones, the Space Stone, and I- died, I suppose, while trying to kill Thanos.”

So  _ that  _ was the heroic act that sent him here. Every one of your guests had been injured doing something noble, that you guessed Odin deemed worthy of better healing. And of course his status as Prince of Asgard made the choice a no-brainer.

“What was he like?”

“He’s odd. I’ve…  _ come into contact  _ with him before, and he acts as though the people he kills are being done a favour. Thanos truly believes in what he’s doing, which makes him even more dangerous than just having the bare power that he does from being a Titan. It’s why I  _ need  _ to go back and stop him.”

You looked at your feet. “And you  _ will _ ,” you said. “When you’re definitely ready to fight. If he’s as strong as Titans are supposed to be, you need to make sure you’re on top form for when you return. You owe yourself that, at least, to make it a fair chance.”

“That’s true,” Loki admitted. “And I shall be ready soon. I can already feel my full strength coming back.”

You didn’t know why you were trying to get Loki to stay for longer. You wanted to say it was just because he needed to completely recover, but deep down you knew it went further than that. Already, you were starting to feel the same things you had for the other men.

Why were you pushing yourself down the same cycle as before? As much as you could tell yourself  _ I won’t fall for this one _ , and later,  _ He’ll come back to save me _ , you knew they were lies. It could only end in heartbreak. That was the way Odin and Hela had designed it to be, and that was how it would stay. 

Your train of thought stopped as you realised you’d reached the lake. “This is my favourite part of the island,” you told Loki. “It’s a great place to just sit. And think. Or read.”

The lake was by no means big—maybe about ten metres at its widest—but there was something just so tranquil about it, with the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, and the stream flowing into it, that you loved the place. Whenever you felt stressed, or alone, or you just wanted somewhere pretty to go, the lake was your first port of call. 

Blue loved it as well, and she quickly made her way into the water, splashing around. You felt yourself smile, and looked to see Loki smiling too. Your stomach twisted at the sight of him actually looking happy, and you took a few steps closer to the water’s edge.

“I won’t suggest swimming today, although I will recommend it for another day before you go. Just because the lake’s small doesn’t mean it’s not fun.”

Loki pulled a face. “I’m not too sure about that.”

“Oh, come on,” you grinned. “I promise. Plus, the water’s completely clean, so you can drink it no problem.” 

Loki’s expression didn’t change much. “Okay, fine,” you said. “You don’t have to swim. You can be boring and sit on that rock there with a book while  _ I  _ swim. Does that sound better?”

An almost grin crossed Loki’s face. “Yes, it does.”

You laughed. “Perfect. Tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow.”

The two of you just looked at each other for a few seconds. You took in the sight of Loki’s face—you’d seen it a lot over the last week, but there was something different about it now that he was actually awake. Maybe it was the way he held himself. But you found yourself looking again, and focusing on just how blue his eyes were. The way the light hit them, filtered through the trees, made them look  _ really nice _ .

Eventually, you caught yourself, and Loki did too. You looked away, and kicked the edge of the lake with your foot, splashing it a little. “Well,” you said. “Shall we head back? I can show you some of the books you might want to read while you’re here.”

Loki nodded. “Let’s.”

“Blue!” you called. Your greyhound returned to you within a few seconds, shaking off the water from her coat. You smiled, and gave her wet head a quick stroke before turning around and following the path back through the trees to your house.

Silence fell once more as you walked, but you were alright with this. It didn’t feel as awkward as it had earlier, and the trace of a smile stayed on your face the whole way. Maybe it was a good thing that you and Loki tell each other things—it’d give you something to talk about until you became more comfortable around each other, and be an effective way to kill time. When Loki left, his words would likely have no impact on your life on the island, so there was no real harm in sharing parts of your life. And it hadn’t felt as bad as you’d expected to tell him about Colby. Of course, you still weren’t ready to talk about certain things, but you were alright with keeping those to yourself right now, and Loki was almost definitely in the same boat. 

But on the whole, you felt more positive about Loki’s stay, even if it was to go the same way as each one before it. It was a new experience. And after so much time alone, a new experience was welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And chapter three is done! I hope you enjoyed it :)


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, after lunch, you took Loki back to the lake. He’d picked out a few of your books that he could flick through, and you’d got changed into what you usually wore when you went for a swim. You were oddly looking forward to it—swimming was one of your favourite pastimes that you couldn’t usually do for long due to how quickly the seasons and weather changed. So it should be good to be able to spend a whole afternoon and maybe even the evening, if you wanted, chilling out in the water.

When you’d first arrived on the island, you barely dared to leave the house. You’d woken up in this strange bed, in a strange house, on a strange island, and there was nothing familiar about where you were. You just about worked up the courage to look out the front door on the first day you spent there, and it was at least a week before you went more than ten metres from the building. 

Over time, you built up a bit of confidence in your surroundings—after all, nothing had come to kill you yet—and every day you strayed further and further from the house, until you finally reached the other side of the island. It was confusing, how quickly the seasons changed; it was as though time was moving forwards without you—you weren’t aging at all, even if it seemed like you should’ve been. 

Blue was your only solace for a while. You weren’t sure why Odin had chosen to grant you your dog, of all things, but you weren’t going to complain. About that, at least. When you were certain there wasn’t anything different about her, she was the best thing here.

After Blue, it was the lake. Sure, it wasn’t that big, and with the ever-changing weather you couldn’t swim for long, but it reminded you of home. Small parts of the island did, be it the types of trees, or the colour of the dirt. While you’d never left Vanaheim, you weren’t naive enough to believe that the rest of the universe looked the same as it geographically, you knew that the island must have been at least partly modelled after the realm. 

And at night time, when you couldn’t sleep, you could always take a walk over to the lake, lie back on the smooth rocks surrounding it, watch the very same stars in the sky, and think of life back on Vanaheim. Of your friends, your parents, your siblings. The homesickness was horrific at first, every little thing you did felt so lonely and somehow reminded you of the people you’d lost. When preparing food, you’d remember how you and your brother and sister would help the cooks before your rebel group would get together for a big meal. When you started exploring the island, you’d think of the hours you and your friends would spend walking through the forests of Vanaheim, just enjoying each other’s company. All of these people you were never going to see again.

After a few weeks, the homelessness hurt a bit less. You still missed your old life, of course, but you’d started to come to grips with the fact that this was permanent. Nobody was going to come and get you—your family was dead, your friends the same way or slaves, the only reason you were still alive was to be made an example of, seemingly. It was a stupid reason to keep you alive, you thought. Why didn’t he just _kill_ you outside of plain old cruelty? 

When Colby left, that feeling of loneliness hit you again, and after the other two did too. It would probably happen after Loki left as well. Maybe to a lesser extent if he left as quickly as he was currently planning to.

You watched Loki as he climbed on to one of the rocks at the side of the lake. His movements weren’t completely smooth yet, but he looked alright. Your session the other day must have really helped, you thought. Plus, you knew Asgardians healed quicker than even the Vanir, based on how soon Number Three was moving about after you’d worked on his broken arm and leg. 

Loki sat down slowly, and started to look again at the few different books he’d brought with him. After a few seconds, he looked up at you, and you gave him a small smile. Surprisingly enough, he returned it, and you prayed that you weren’t blushing. 

Unable to look at Loki for any longer, you turned to the water. Blue, as always, had run in ahead of you, and you followed her in. The lake was cool, and it felt nice against your lower legs. At its deepest, it was only really shoulder level, but that still was enough to swim and bathe in. 

You turned over onto your back, and looked up at the light filtering in through the trees. You felt relaxed, even with the slight splashes that Blue was making as she paddled around, and you smiled to yourself. 

“Have you read this?” Loki asked suddenly, and you moved to look, swimming over so you could see the cover more easily. He was holding one of your favourites—so it wasn’t taken away with the monthly rotation, you kept it on top of your bookshelf instead of in it normally—a romance-adventure novel about two Light Elves. 

“Yes, I have,” you said. “It’s really good, even if the first chapter isn’t that great.”

Loki pulled a face. “Are you sure?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I am sure. I love that book.” You moved back to the centre of the lake. “Hey, if you don’t like it, just read another one. It’s not like I’m going to run out of books any time soon.”

“I’ll read it. What else am I going to do?”

You grinned. “Swim?”

It was Loki’s turn to roll his eyes, but he didn’t look seriously irritated. “No.”

“Worth a shot.”

You continued to relax, switching between swimming about and just floating on your back for a while longer, until the sun set and you started to feel colder. “Do you want to go back soon?” you asked, making your way out of the lake and picking up a towel to dry yourself. 

“Sure,” Loki said, moving to stand as you went to wake up Blue. She’d tired herself out earlier, and was sleeping on another of the rocks.

When Loki was nearly off the rocks, he winced suddenly, and you rushed to his side. “Are you alright?”

He shook his head. “I’m fine. I think I just moved my head wrong when I got up.”

You looked up at him, as he stood awkwardly on the rock, and held out your hand to help. He looked at it for a second, with a mixture of disgust and confusion, before eventually sighing to himself and taking it. His fingertips were cold against your hand, even with the lower temperature, and in the back of your head you hoped that this wasn’t some unfortunate side effect of his injury.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you asked as he stepped down. “There’s no point lying if you’re not. I just want to help you.”

“I- I’m alright. It hurts a bit sometimes, but it’s not too bad. Just the natural healing process, which I can tell is going ahead smoothly.”

Loki didn’t let go of your hand, looking into your eyes, and you held his gaze for a few seconds. It was with the same intensity as before, but this time it was like you couldn’t look away. You felt completely frozen—apart from your rapidly beating heart, that is. 

Eventually, you got a hold of yourself, and tore your eyes away, releasing his hand. “Okay. I’m glad you can tell it’s healing. If there’s anything else I can do, please say. I just want to help.”

“I know,” Loki said. “And I- appreciate that. I’ll ask if I can think of anything.”

You smiled. “Are you ready to go back now?”

“Yep.” Loki started walking in the direction of the house, and you followed, catching up to walk at his side. “So,” he said after a few seconds. “Want to do another round of questions?”

“Sure, why not?”

“You go first this time,” Loki said.

You thought for a second. What could you ask Loki? You going first meant setting the precedent for what he asked, and you didn't want to ask something overly personal when he was only just starting to be more chilled around you. What did you _want_ to know? 

You didn’t want to ask about Odin—you’d probably have to pretend that you didn’t hate him or whatever, knowing how most sons you’d met talked about their fathers, and you just didn’t really care about that right now. Instead, you thought about his other experiences, anything else he might know about that you’d be interested in. 

“So… this isn’t my main question, but first, which of the Nine Realms have you been to?”

“Okay. I’ve been to Asgard, of course, Midgard, Vanaheim, Jotunheim, Alfheim, and Svartalfheim.”

“Damn,” you said. “You’ve travelled a _lot_.”

Loki smirked. “Yes, I guess so.”

“What’s Midgard like? And its people? That _is_ my main question.”

He thought it over. “It’s alright. Midgardians live such short lifetimes, they’d essentially forgotten about the rest of the realms until a few years ago. The planet is built up a lot, but it’s still less advanced in many areas than places like Asgard.”

“How many times have you been?”

“Quite a few. It’s a good choice if I want to go somewhere without being recognised and can’t be bothered to use a glamour. Well.” he stopped. “Until recently, I suppose. But the Midgardians are stubborn, despite their short lifetimes, and relatively powerful. One of them flies around in a metal outfit, and another turns into a huge green monster when he’s angry, because of a botched injection.”

“ _Really_?” you tried to think of wearing a metal suit and using it to fly. That sounded uncomfortable. 

“Yes. They’re quite interesting, considering what they are.”

You’d been curious about Midgard for quite a while. More recently, some books that you could only assume came from there had started to pop up on your shelf, and while you could gather some information about the realm from those, you wanted to know more. Sometimes, when you let yourself imagine a life away from here, you thought that Midgard would be the first place you’d visit. You loved Vanaheim, but there probably wasn’t really anything there for you anymore. Not without your village.

“My turn,” Loki said next, interrupting your train of thought. “Vanaheim. What’s it like being Vanir?”

“What’s it like?” you laughed. “I’m not sure how I can answer that.”

“Okay. Tell me about your life there.”

You swallowed, looking down at your feet as you walked through the undergrowth—it would be difficult to answer this one without causing some sort of problem. You were nearly back at the house now, the trees being further apart, and the ground less uneven. “Well… my parents were the leaders of our village. I had a younger brother and sister. The village wasn’t big, but there were a few others my age, and we were happy with how things were. In the mornings, my mother or father would teach me things, such as my healing magic, and in the afternoons, I’d either go exploring in the forests with my friends, or do some training with my uncle. When I came of age, I started doing more practical things, like working with the village healer, or assisting my parents with their leadership, so I would eventually be ready to take over their role.”

You’d both reached the house now, and you stepped inside. Loki went to sit on the sofa, and you took your seat in the armchair. Blue jumped onto the sofa next to Loki, and he absent-mindedly stroked the fur on her head. She rested her head on his thigh, looking contented.

Loki leant his chin on his hand, thinking about what you’d said. “That does sound like a good life.”

“It was.” you said, unable to hide the edge of sadness in your voice. 

“Then how did you come to be here?” Loki asked.

The question you’d been dreading. You didn’t want to talk about it, you’d rather discuss almost anything than that, what were you supposed to say? _Your dad sent me here because he couldn’t kill my parents. Anyway, let’s make some tea now._

After a few seconds of silence, you just said “I don’t remember.”

Loki looked at you. “You don’t remember?” he asked, in disbelief. 

You shook your head. “I don’t. I just woke up here one day, and couldn’t leave.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly. Not enough to be actively threatening, just to make him look more serious. “You’re lying.”

Fuck. 

“No I’m not. Why would I lie?”

Loki sighed. “You’re speaking to the God of Lies. It’s obvious you’re not telling me something.”

You felt your jaw clench. “How do you know? Why should I tell you everything anyway?”

“Wasn’t that the agreement?” Loki pointed out. “Nothing to lose.”

 _Nothing to lose._ “But I also said there were some things I wouldn’t share.”

“So you basically just admitted to lying. Why didn’t you say that when I asked you in the first place? It’d be easier if you just said you weren’t comfortable with saying how.”

You wanted to scream at him. “Why are you trying to get at me?” you asked, voice starting to shake. Maybe you were overreacting, but you didn’t care. This had gone downhill quickly. “It’d be easier if you just stuck to asking one question, but there we go.”

Loki still looked completely calm as he spoke, seemingly not at all ruffled by your argument. “You asked me three questions, and I just wanted to know.”

You stood up, your hands tightly fisted at your sides. “Even with this whole question thing, I thought we weren’t prying too much. That’s why I didn’t ask you about your deep personal secrets and feelings.”

“Oh no, just about the being that _killed_ me.” 

You bit your lip. “I’m going to go to my room for a while,” you finally said, not wanting to further argue. “I’ll see you later.”

Loki didn’t respond, just folding his arms and leaning back in his chair as you walked past him, your legs feeling unsteady. You could barely believe that such an enjoyable afternoon had been ruined so quickly. How did he manage to get such a rise out of you? It was ridiculous.

Hey, at least he was only going to be here for another day or two. Then you would never have to argue with him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, chapter four. I hope you liked it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Resisting the temptation to slam it, you shut the door behind you when you reached your room, and flopped down onto your bed. As you did so, all of the built up anger started to seep out of you.

Your first argument with Loki. What a milestone. It had felt so irrational, _you_ had felt so irrational, but there was something about the way he spoke that made you so unexpectedly annoyed with him. He made you feel almost silly, with how he barely reacted to what you said. 

And after such a nice afternoon, too. You’d really enjoyed yourself, hanging out at the lake in someone’s company, and relaxing in the water. 

After a minute or so of pressing your face into the duvet, you got up again, deciding to take a shower. You hoped that that might help you to feel a bit better, to get rid of that coldness that the lake water had left you with. 

It did help, at least a little bit. The knot in your stomach had lessened slightly, and your muscles felt a bit more relaxed.

When you were warm and dry, you sat back down on your bed, your knees curled up into your chest. You were barely even annoyed anymore, the guilt starting to creep in. You had _rather_ overreacted—how was Loki to know what had really happened? He wasn’t his father. Thankfully. Just because Odin was evil didn’t mean that Loki was, despite his status as the God of Lies and Mischief. And so far, despite seeming distant and a little full of himself, he hadn’t exactly done anything bad beyond trying to get at you in an argument. 

You couldn’t blame him for being nosy, you were too, and it wasn’t unreasonable of him to call you out for lying. Even if you had healed him, he couldn’t know whether you had some secret dark intentions with him. If this was all a setup.

You sat in silence for a while, just thinking over what you should do next. It would probably be best to apologise later on—maybe not actually say what had happened, but tell Loki that you wouldn’t lie to him like that again. 

After a little while longer, you heard the sound of definitely not canine footsteps approaching your room, followed by a quiet but firm knock at the door. 

“Come in,” you said, pushing yourself up off the bed. 

Loki did so, and stood awkwardly in the doorway for a second. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

You were both silent for a few seconds, unsure of who should speak first. “I came to apologise,” Loki started. “I did try to get a rise out of you, and I shouldn’t have. I understand if you don’t want to explain every little detail of your past to me. I obviously wouldn’t share everything about mine.”

“Thank you,” you said. “And I- I’m sorry too. I overreacted. You wouldn’t know about the situation. Even if you’re not here for long, I don’t want to make things difficult between us.”

He smiled, and slightly inclined his head. “Thanks. Well, I’ll go back downstairs for a bit. Do you want to come? I understand if-”

“I’ll come,” you said, returning the smile. “I’ll make some food.

“Great.”

* * *

As you made tea, you still felt a little awkward around Loki. You appreciated him initiating the apology, but something seemed a little bit off. You didn’t know what it was, but it was there.

Should you say something? You both did and didn’t want to tell him, the simple fact was sitting there in the back of your head, ready to be said at any time. 

The two of you sat down at the table with your food, in silence. You stared down at your plate as you ate, unsure of whether to start a conversation or not. You’d enjoyed the easier feeling that had come with being with Loki this afternoon, but it seemed like that was gone now. 

You swallowed the last bit of your meal, trying to push any nerves away, and finally said it. “Your father sent me here.”

There was a clattering sound as Loki put his cutlery back onto his plate. You looked to the side without moving your head to try and gauge Loki’s reaction without it being obvious. 

He didn’t say anything. This was it. If things weren’t messed up before, they definitely would be now. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve said earlier and just been honest, but I understand if you’re close with him, and I didn’t want to make you mad at me, and-”

“Why would I be mad?” Loki asked.

You finally dared to turn your head to properly look at him. He didn’t look angry, just a bit confused. “Be- because I was basically banished here? For what happened with your father. I’m like a criminal. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“Odin was a dickhead. Him sending you here reflects nothing about you, unless you were something like a mass-murderer. _Are_ you a mass-murderer?”

“No.”

“Then I have nothing against you.”

It would be impossible to describe the feeling of relief that came upon you as he said those words. Loki didn’t hate you! Everything wasn’t ruined! You almost wanted to laugh at it all. He’d said it so matter of factly too, like he didn’t realise how much of an effect his acceptance had on you.

He put a hand on your shoulder. “Do you want to explain further? I understand if you don’t, but Odin has done quite a few morally questionable things over the centuries. I won’t hold anything against you.”

“Okay.” you took a deep breath. “Can I wash up first?”

“Of course.”

* * *

And you told Loki everything. 

About the way your peaceful village was overrun by the over-eager Asgardian soldiers. They’d arrived about two years after you came of age, starting with the men scouting out around Vanaheim, soon followed by the Asgardian hordes who wrecked any village that didn’t immediately submit to Odin’s rule, killing the men and taking the women and children as their own. They’d set up a base near where the Bifrost took them the first time, making buildings that looked nothing like the way the rest of Vanaheim did. You could see them in the distance from your village, far away through the trees.

About how your parents had taken as many of you as you could and fled, gathering people from other, not yet captured villages and starting your own form of resistance deep in the mountains. You weren’t all that effective, it was virtually hopeless against the soldiers, with their ready access to plenty of food, superior weapons and much greater numbers, but something about it felt good; not immediately bowing down to this tyrant and his daughter. You felt like you were making a difference in the world, however small, and it was good to meet other people from different parts of the realm. 

About when you were finally discovered, your location given away by someone tortured by the Asgardian forces. Your parents stabbed as you watched from the shadows; your siblings dragged away from you through the fire that ravaged what had been your new home. 

About you being dumped at the foot of Odin’s throne at his new ‘palace’ in Vanaheim. _We’ve got the daughter of those rebels you asked for, sir_ . You would never forget that look deep in his eyes, as he appraised you before turning to his daughter and discussing what their plans for you would be. No, they wouldn’t kill you. That would be _boring_. Why not make things more fun, make your terror last for as long as possible? Keep you away from the other Vanir so you wouldn’t start another rebellion, but not kill you so you wouldn’t be a martyr. That look shared between Hela and Odin as they discussed what your fate would be. And then how casually one of the soldiers walked up to Odin and told him that your brother and sister had been ‘taken care of’.

You told him about all of it, right up to the moment you’d woken up here. Tears were starting to push at your eyes as you finished, but part of you felt a little lighter after sharing it all. No more hiding your feelings for Loki’s father and what he did. 

Your gaze had found its way to the floor as you spoke, your head tilted downwards, and when you stopped speaking, you felt Loki gently tip your chin up, getting you to look back up at him. You weren’t sure what you expected to see, but there was an earnest expression on his face; he looked like he was being more genuine than he’d ever been in his time here with you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Nobody deserves to go through that. I couldn’t imagine-” Loki paused. “ _Shit, is that how Thor feels?_ ” you just about heard him mutter under his breath, before focusing back on you. “I appreciate you telling me this.”

“I’ve never actually said it out loud before.” You hadn’t. You hadn’t even told Number Three about all the details of your confinement here, as much as you’d wanted to at the time. He just knew it was Odin’s fault.

“Does it feel any better now?”

“A bit,” you had to admit. “Thank you for listening. I- I couldn’t imagine being raised by Odin. Was he cruel?”

Loki bit his lip. “Sometimes. He was less cruel, and more… focused on things that weren’t me.”

“Not you?”

“My brother. Keeping his lies intact. This idea of peace that he’d built up in his head.”

You grimaced. “That sucks.” You’d guessed that Thor would probably be the favourite son, based on the way that Number Three talked about him, but you hadn’t realised that it would be to such a bad extent. “So... you don’t mind that I’m from a rebel family?” you asked, a few seconds later. 

“Why would I mind? It’s not as though I’m going to judge you for your parents’ choice to take a stand.” Loki raised his eyebrows. “And you don’t mind that I’m the Prince of Asgard?”

You scoffed. “Of course I don’t.”

He smiled. “I’m glad we have that sorted out then.”

You couldn’t help it when you leant forward then, wrapping your arms around Loki’s torso and pulling him in for a hug. For an awful second he stiffened, and you were worried that you’d made things bad again, but then you felt him soften slightly and he hesitantly put his arms around you as well. Slowly, you took a deep breath, appreciating the feeling of actual human contact after so long, and trying to prevent your heart from beating any faster than it already was. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled into his shoulder. “I just- sorry.”

“It’s- alright,” Loki replied, holding you a little tighter. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m fine. Thanks.” you paused, but didn’t want to move away yet. So you didn’t. “Are _you_? You feel freezing.”

Loki did pull away then, removing his arms from your sides and having a strange expression on his face. “I’m not cold,” he said. “Maybe you’re just warm. Your heart rate _is_ rather high, after all.”

Shit. You crossed your arms, hoping that the flush you felt on your face wasn’t very visible. “Maybe.”

Desperate to change the topic again, you tried to think of something else to say, and pulled your feet up onto the sofa, hugging your knees. “So… what day did you say you were going to leave?”

Loki blinked. “I thought tomorrow, or the day after.”

“Okay.” you nodded. 

“Why, are you that desperate to be rid of me?” he joked awkwardly. 

“No! I-” you fumbled with what to say, in a way that wouldn’t offend Loki. “I was just curious. Stay as long as you’d like, it doesn’t affect me.”

He cocked his head. “As long as I like?”

“Yep.”

“Well then… I might as well stay for another week or two then, if you’re sure that it’s not a problem for you,” Loki said.

You couldn’t hide the smile on your face then. “Really?”

Loki smiled too. “Why not?”

“Yes. Why not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we have chapter five. I hope you liked it :)


	6. Chapter 6

You felt yourself start to get into a routine the longer Loki stayed with you. Get up, shower, make breakfast for you and Loki, feed Blue, go for a quick walk around the island, tend to your plants growing by the house, then eat the lunch Loki had prepared with him. Then, depending on how you both felt, you’d probably spend the afternoon together doing something, be it hanging out somewhere on the island, reading a book—you were glad that Loki was also happy to spend his time reading—or just sitting and talking. 

The topic of your conversation was led by whoever spoke or asked first. It was mostly Loki who talked, as he told you all about the different corners of the universe he’d visited, while you sat there, fascinated. You’d learnt even more about places like Midgard, and Alfheim, and even Asgard. It was interesting to hear about what it was like now, a few centuries after Number Three had told you about it. Apparently it had pushed the idea of peacefulness even more in recent years, even when war with Jotunheim was a great threat. 

Loki always seemed a bit sad talking about Asgard, so you tended to stick to asking him about other places instead—which you mostly preferred anyway. It was funny, Loki acted like he was above all of these other places, especially Midgard, but you could tell from certain undertones in his voice that he was equally as enamoured with them as you were.

Once, he told you all about Thor. His ‘better’ older brother who had been essentially clueless about how much of a dick Odin was until he went against his wishes and was banished to Midgard for a few days without his powers. 

The picture that Loki painted of Thor was quite different to the one you’d heard from Number Three. You could tell that Loki cared a lot for his brother—it was obvious—but he was much less hesitant to point out his more negative sides. Apparently he, like seemingly everyone in his family, had a huge ego, and used to be obsessed with the idea of ruling Asgard before falling in love with this Midgardian girl. “Same for me, if I’m honest,” Loki said.

“ _You_ fell in love with a Midgardian?” you asked.

“No!” Loki scoffed. “No. I mean, I used to want to rule Asgard, but… it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Of course, I won’t excuse Odin’s actions, but it’s pretty stressful being the Allfather.” he paused, and looked down at the floor. “It seems.” 

But, at heart, he said that Thor was a good guy. Just a bit of an idiot. 

“I think, at the end of it all, going to Midgard was good for him,” Loki mused. “He was already an adult, of course, but after that… I think he grew up. He met new people, and wasn’t surrounded by his silly friends anymore. They’d bicker, as friends do, but at the end of the day, they just did what Thor wanted if he asked them.”

You raised your eyebrows, and Loki grinned. “They were… odd. He had four main ones. A woman, who I’m pretty sure Thor would’ve married if he hadn’t met that Midgardian, an axeman who was a total glutton, and a blond guy who’s probably slept with more women than I’ve met all my life, seriously. Oh yes, and a Vanir too; he commanded the main army of Asgard.”

“Sorry… who were they?” You asked.

“They were Lady Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun,” Loki explained.

“Oh. I…” you paused. Loki looked at you expectantly, but you weren’t sure what to say. Part of you felt a bit sick. “Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Loki asked. 

You nodded. “I’m fine. Er- who did he meet on Midgard again?”

Loki looked at you a little oddly, but continued anyway. “A doctor—Jane Foster, her intern, and her friend and teacher. He dated her for a few years, but she broke up with him after an issue with a robot in some European country. As far as I know, he hasn’t seen any of them since, because he spent a few years looking for the Infinity Stones. You know, the things that Titan wants to get hold of.”

“That’s a shame.”

“It is. He really cared about her, even if she _did_ punch me in the face.”

“Did she?” you asked, slightly shocked.

Loki just laughed. “She did. I can’t really blame her, though. It was for a valid reason.”

You smiled a little, the slight tension from earlier feeling eased. Although, there was still a small sickening feeling deep inside you that you weren’t sure you’d be able to get rid of for a while.

* * *

“What did you think of Vanaheim?” you asked Loki one afternoon. The two of you had returned to the lake, but today you weren’t swimming; you’d decided to sit with him on one of the rocks, swinging your legs slightly as they hung over the side, inches from the water underneath.

Loki had sat cross-legged beside you, leaning against the side of a slightly taller rock behind him. His knee brushed against your side, but neither of you made any effort to move away—you were becoming more comfortable around each other, less awkward than you were the first few days together. “It’s been quite a while since I last visited. But it was very pretty. Asgard is very glamorous, I suppose, and it’s nice to go somewhere that isn’t all golden.”

“So there are no cities or anything there now?” you asked.

He shook his head. “No. There’s an _almost_ palace, but it was never fully built. I think Odin lost passion for a second Valaskjalf when he decided to stop pillaging. I don’t know how much would’ve changed since you lived there though.”

You shrugged. You were pretty curious to know about any changes to Vanaheim over the centuries, particularly where you used to live. “How many places did you visit?”

“Quite a few. My brother and I travelled the realm for a year or so when we were younger, so chances are I’ve been where you used to live.”

“The mountains to the West?”

“I’m fairly certain I have been there. Of course, we didn’t go too far into the mountains, we tended to stay in the forests, but I have been near them.”

Loki had been where you used to live. He might have even walked on the same ground you once had, passed those same trees. Your old village and base were gone—you’d seen their destruction before your very eyes—but the trees weren’t. The lakes weren’t. 

You weren’t sure how you felt about this. It was almost nice that he’d likely been to your birthplace; you’d felt so disappointed when Number Two revealed that he’d never really ventured beyond Central Vanaheim, and it was a bit like some weird form of validation. Obviously, Loki wasn’t validating your origins, but it was almost like he inadvertently recognised where you were from and appreciated it. Part of you felt like your feeling was unfounded, but you didn’t mind. 

“So it’s still mostly small villages?”

“Yes, it is as far as I’m aware. I think Odin preferred it that way—it’s less of an organised realm when everyone is spread apart. Alfheim is more like Asgard in that respect, and I know he was irritated whenever they’d disagree with something he said or wanted.”“Damn,” you grimaced, then sighed. “I wish I could go back there one day. Just to visit. Not to live there—I don’t think I’d be able to do that—but I want to see it all. Appreciate the forests.”

Your eyes met Loki’s then, and he looked at you with an unreadable expression. He looked down for a second, mouthing something to himself, before flicking his gaze back up to you. His face was set, resolute, and you swallowed. 

“Whenever I leave this place, whenever all of this with Thanos is over, I’m going to set you free,” Loki said, leaning forward and placing a hand on your arm. “And you’ll go to Vanaheim, or Midgard, or wherever you want, and you’ll be free.”

You laughed. “Please don’t declare the impossible. Nobody else has managed before.”

Loki cocked his head and grinned. “Nobody else knew about the Space Stone.”

Here it was already. That unkeepable promise of setting you free. Sure, Loki seemed like the most powerful guest of yours yet, but it had been two thousand years. If you were ever going to be let out, you would’ve been by now. You couldn’t let yourself feel any type of hope, as much as that smile of his made you want to believe him. When you started being hopeful, it just made everything feel worse in the end.

Sighing, you looked down at your lap. You’d stopped swinging your legs, and they lay limp against the side of the rock. What could you say to him?

You didn’t look up again until you felt a cool drop against your neck. A few seconds, then another. And another. Was it-? You peered up at the open sky, and blinked as another droplet hit your eye. 

It was raining. It was actually raining.

Loki looked up too, an amused expression on his face. “Nice,” he remarked. “I was wondering if it’d ever stop being sunny.”

A choking feeling rose up from within your throat, and you laughed again. You were still in slight disbelief at the change in weather, and with every second the rain was getting heavier.

“We- we should go back to the house,” you said, scrambling up, ready to get off the rocks.

Loki nodded. “We should,” he agreed, and started to push himself up out of his sitting position. 

As he rose though, he slipped, and you could do nothing but watch as Loki fell face first into the lake. 

“Loki!” you called, staring at the violent splashing of the water as he moved around. “Are you okay?” 

His head broke through the water within seconds, although it had felt as though time had slowed to crawling before it did. “I-I’m fine,” he gasped. “Just-” he spluttered a little. “A bit cold.”

You held out your hand for him to grab. “It’s okay—I’ll help you out.” Loki looked up at you, pausing for a second. In the coldness of the water there was a blue undertone to his skin—he looked frozen.

He took your hand, held it tightly, and with a resounding pull brought you into the lake with him. Screaming in shock, you landed almost on top of him, inhaling a huge mouthful of water as you did so. Loki had kept a tight hold on your hand as you fell, and you put your other on his shoulder as you tried to right yourself, spitting out the lakewater when your head was free again. 

You heaved in the air, surprised at how cold the water actually was. When you looked back up at Loki’s face, there was a huge grin across it as he helped to keep holding you upright. You said nothing for a few seconds, and his grin faltered a little, until you started laughing. 

“Oh my- you- _dick_!” you got out, blinking away the extra water from your eyelashes. “I can’t believe you. I thought you hated the water!”

“I don’t _hate_ it. Plus, it’s raining. Not like I can get even _more_ wet,” Loki reasoned, and you felt your stomach flutter at his expression. You stayed like that for a bit, hands intertwined under the surface, your hand on his shoulder, his around your lower back to keep you steady. His feet seemed to reach the bottom of the lake here, but yours didn’t really, and you had to kick them a little bit so as not to fall on top of Loki again.

“Shall we- I’m _freezing_ ,” you said eventually, teeth starting to chatter. 

“ _Yes_.” 

You and Loki made your way to the edge of the lake, almost leaning against each other as you did so. When you were on the shore, your eyes met and you both started laughing again. His dark hair was plastered to his face, and it felt like yours was too, and your clothes were dripping all over the floor, making it even wetter than that rain was. You both looked ridiculous.

“So next time you’re actually going to come swimming with me?” you joked. Loki shoved your side playfully, before taking hold of your hand again as you both followed the path back home. You were both still giggling as you walked through the trees, and you felt physically closer to Loki than you had been yet.

He grinned. “I’ll see. Maybe. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated it’d be.”

“It’s even better when you’re expecting to go in beforehand. And the water’s cool, like a break from the sun.”

“You really want me to go swimming, don’t you?”

You shrugged, feeling yourself blush slightly. “Perhaps. It’s fun, and I miss swimming with other people.”

“Did… the other people swim with you?”

“Sometimes.” Number Three had really enjoyed swimming—you’d hang out by the lake almost every day, and some of your best times with him were there.

Loki turned to look at you, still smiling. “Well, I’m sure I could probably be persuaded to join you at some point.”

The two of you walked through the front door, finally pulling your hands away. Blue, who had stayed at home this morning and was sleeping by the sofa, lifted her head up slightly to look at you, before returning to her previous position. 

“Do you want to shower first?” you asked.

Loki shook his head. “You can,” he said, before a yellow glow came over him and he changed into some new, dry clothes.

“Ah. I forgot you could do that,” you ceded, and headed off for a shower.

When you were both clean and dry, you sat down together on the sofa, Blue having moved onto your lap instead. Loki leant back in his seat, propping his feet up against the coffee table. Your arm brushed against his, and you almost jumped at how cold he still was.

“Are you okay?” you asked. “You still feel really cold.”

“I’m fine,” Loki said. “I don’t feel cold myself. I guess I’m just cold blooded,” he laughed.

You smiled. “Okay. But if there’s anything wrong, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there's chapter six! Apologies for the break between chapters, I've had a super busy month, but things are a bit less hectic now—I'm aiming to update this at least once a fortnight, more if I can.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	7. Chapter 7

In the time you’d spent with your island’s visitors, you’d become good at avoiding certain subjects. Things like why you were stuck on the island, who the people before the current man were, why you fell so easily for them. But Loki... he was the God of Mischief, the God of Lies. He hadn’t asked you anything yet after Number One, but if he really wanted to then he could probably make you spill anything. Number Three had told you so himself, and you’d already told Loki about most of the details of your past. 

It finally happened, one day when the two of you were sitting on a bench you’d crafted, overlooking the shore. You were reading; it was some book that had shown up on the shelf a few weeks ago that you hadn’t got round to opening what with Loki being there, while Loki himself leant back a little against the back of the bench and closed his eyes. You didn’t think he was asleep—he was too steady for that—so maybe he was just taking the chance to rest while he was still on the island. 

While he was still on the island. You had no idea how much longer he’d be here, having gone from announcing his leave two days after he arrived, to a week, to a month, to ah, might as well take three months off. The three month limit would be hit next week, and something about this one made it feel like Loki was really going to leave. 

You couldn’t deny the feelings that had started to brew within you, the slight rush you got when he smiled at you, the affection you felt when you watched his face like it was now. As much as you were trying to get into your book, your gaze kept flicking over to Loki, with the slight slope of his eyebrows and his sharp, high cheekbones. He really was attractive, you thought. He didn’t look at all like the Odin you remembered, dark and scary with his huge helmet. He didn’t look like Hela either, beyond the black hair at least. It was only really his self-important attitude that made you think of his father, and even that was waning as you spent more time with him. His rougher edges had smoothed out a little, and there was less negative tension between you now. Maybe he didn’t feel as much of a need to assert himself around you, which made you glad. 

The only thing was: how did he feel about you? Of course, you could tell he liked you to a certain extent—at least, he _acted_ like he did—but did his feelings go further or stop there?

“Can I ask you something?” Loki said. You turned, but he hadn’t opened his eyes yet and still looked a bit like he was sleeping. 

You put your book down on the floor. “Of course.”

“Number Two. Who was he?”

You took a deep breath. “Okay. He was called Stein, and he came from Vanaheim, like me, but more central instead of the West. He’d been stabbed in the gut, saving the life of some military high-up—anyone who’s been sent to my island was doing something good for Asgard, I think—but he was okay.”

While Colby had been actively romantic with you, Stein had only ever seen you as a friend and nothing more. The rain, combined with your over-eagerness to hear about how Vanaheim was doing now, probably made your island seem much less appealing, and as much as your heart was still broken, you were almost glad when he left as it meant the weather was finally clear again. 

The weather. It had continued to change since that first shower of rain two months ago, and last week there was even a storm. One thing was for certain, Loki’s arrival had changed things up, but how, you were unsure. You kept your worry to yourself, however, and tried to push away that odd feeling whenever the rain clouds started to form above you, as much as it went against your better judgement. 

“Is he the one who stayed for six months?” Loki asked. He’d sat up now, and was watching you as you spoke.

“He is. I… don’t think he clicked with me in the same way the others did, and he just wanted to get back to Vanaheim I think.” But you’d loved him all the same, and although that ache in your stomach when you thought of him had lessened over time, it was still there. Just about. 

Loki nodded. “Some people just aren’t worth knowing,” he shrugged.

You gave a small laugh. “Maybe,” you said, and turned back to your book.

It was interesting, but you still weren’t properly reading it. You’d been stuck on the same page for the past ten minutes, instead deep in thought about Loki, and Stein, and what you were supposed to do. 

“Can I ask you about… Number Three?” Loki said next. After the long period of silence, his directness surprised you. The expression on his face had changed, as though he was trying to be inconspicuous but still digging for something he wanted.

 _Number Three._ Were you ready to talk about him? 

He was still relatively fresh in your mind. Number One and Two, sure, they hurt, but Number Three was the most recent. And as much as you wanted to forgive him for not fulfilling his promise, you told yourself to hate him. He was just like the rest, as different as he’d seemed as the two of you fell in love, and you were still here, on this island, despite everything he’d sworn he’d do to help you. 

“I- I don’t know.” you found yourself looking at the floor.

Loki leaned down slightly, his head moving back into your line of sight. “Can I… ask you questions about him? Maybe yes or no ones?”

You bit your lip, thinking. “Okay. I think I can do that.”

Loki nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes though, and a part of you felt deeply confused about it. Why was he all of a sudden trying to figure out who Number Three was? You knew they knew each other, but why would Loki have any idea about him? And if he did, why ask now?

“Thanks. So… was he from the Nine Realms?”

“Yes.”

“Was he from Asgard?”

“Yes.” You looked up again, and Loki watched you intently as he asked his questions, still looking like he was deep in thought behind all of this. 

“Was he a soldier?”

“Yes.”

“Was he one of Thor’s friends?”

Your eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes.”

“Was he blond?”

“Yes.”

Loki didn’t respond for a while, not asking any more questions. You’d thought he looked thoughtful earlier, but he seemed even more so now, clearly running things over in his head.

“So… it _is_ you,” Loki breathed, cupping your chin with his hand. “I finally realised.”

“What do you mean?” You asked. 

He looked down for a second, before moving his head back up to meet your gaze. “I didn’t know how you’d know who I was, who Thor was, about his hammer, if you’d been here since before I was born. Your reaction when I talked about my brother and his friends. The one on the island who nurses men in need back to health; it took me a while to finally figure it out, but I knew I’d heard of you before. _Fandral_ ,” he said. 

You blinked. You’d never thought you’d hear that name again.

“He was wounded in a battle on some realm, he passed out for a few hours, he woke back up and was completely healed, spouting off about some girl he fell in love with that he needed to find again. He wouldn’t shut up about her for weeks, until he finally got his audience with Odin and he never spoke of her again. That girl was _you_.”

Tears were beginning to push at your eyes. Fandral _did_ care about you, he _had_ tried to get you back… you just weren’t allowed to return. “He- he really spoke about me?”

Loki noticed the expression on your face, the crack in your voice as you spoke. “Oh, darling, he really did. We thought he was crazy, talking about this year of his life that didn’t happen, but he must’ve been right. Even as the years passed, I’d see him sometimes, looking wistful… and I knew he was thinking about that mystery girl.”

You started to cry in earnest now. “I thought he’d- forgotten about me. I thought he didn’t care. I thought he’d lied. You- you said he was a womaniser, and-”

Loki wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into an embrace, and you accepted it, gripping at the back of his shirt and pressing your face into his shoulder. “I swear, darling, he cared. You were the one thing other than himself he ever truly cared for.”

Guilt washed over you. All this time, all this false hatred and resentment that had built up, it was undeserved. Fandral had genuinely wanted to save you, and you’d spent your time pushing him out of your head and thinking he was an awful person. 

You thought over Loki’s words for a few seconds, thought about his wording. “Wait… _cared_?” You pulled away slightly, searching Loki’s expression. “What happened to him?”

Loki lowered his eyes, turning his head away slightly. “When- when Hela returned to Asgard, and tried to take over, some stood in her way. Fandral… he didn’t make it. Some of the people who survived said he was one of the first to go against her.”

Everything you’d learnt over the past minute went round and round in your head. You felt sick. Fandral was _dead_. You’d thought he didn’t care when he really did, and now you’d never be able to apologise to him for your misplaced hatred.

Since he left, you thought you’d accepted that you’d never see him again, but there was always that tiny sliver of hope, niggling away at the back of your mind. Now it was gone. There was a sense of finality you’d never felt before, but instead of any type of relief you just felt shame. 

You hung your head, and Loki rubbed your back soothingly with one of his hands, using the other to lift your chin a little. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause you any pain. I just wanted to know if I was right.”

“Wh-what would he say about me? What happened?” you asked nervously.

Loki thought for a second, wracking his brain to remember the specifics. “I’m not sure if I remember all the details… but I do remember the look on his face when he spoke about you to Thor, in the medical tent when he woke up. The battle was over, and I think he was a bit confused, but he sat up, completely healed, and grabbed Thor’s arm. I was stood in the corner, so I couldn’t hear him properly, but I saw the shine in his eyes as he talked about you.

“We had a final meal at the camp the night before we were going to go back to Asgard, and I sat next to him, and you were all he talked about. I think he must have said the phrase ‘I can’t wait to see her again’ ten times.” You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you listened to Loki. Despite the amount of guilt you felt, it was a nice feeling that Fandral _had_ cared for you in the way you cared for him. 

“When we got back to Asgard, Odin was in another realm for a few weeks, and every day Fandral would talk about how excited to speak to him he was. We all thought he’d gone crazy—he’d only been unconscious for a few hours, and this was a year and a half he was talking about. Sure, he’d healed incredibly quickly, but maybe he just had even better physiology than the rest of us. 

“Nobody was shocked at how depressed Fandral looked when he left his meeting with Odin, the day after he came back, but it was still sad. He never said anything else about you after that, but like I said… sometimes you could see him looking off, into the distance, thinking about the girl in his dreams.”

You wiped your eyes, trying to rub away the tears, and leaned into Loki’s side. “But- what did you mean about him being a womaniser if he cared so much?”

Loki looked down. “He started sleeping around a lot again a few months after he got back. I think he’d given up hope by then—my guess is Odin threatened him, or told him that it was just a dream and he should get over it—but he never stayed with anyone for more than a few days.”

You nodded your head. You understood the feeling of hopelessness, and couldn’t really blame Fandral for it, even if it hurt a bit. Asking Odin had been his best bet; he was the only one who could really help. What else could he do? Maybe use one of those stones Loki had talked about, but that would be virtually impossible to get his hands on. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sad that he’s gone, but… I’m glad I know the truth.”

Loki put a reassuring arm around your shoulders. “I feel a bit bad about thinking he was crazy all these years,” he said. “He _was_ insufferable though.”

“I know,” you smiled. “But he was a good person underneath. Just a bit of a tosser.”

“So… that was everyone before me?” Loki asked.

“Yep.”

“I appreciate you talking about this.”

You turned your head to meet Loki’s eyes. “It’s okay. It was difficult at first, but it feels good to get things off your chest.”

Loki nodded, a look deep in his expression that made it seem as though he was thinking about something else, although he didn't say anything further. 

Neither of you made any effort to move, and you both stayed sitting together on the bench, watching the artificial sun as it set over the horizon. Loki’s arm remained around you, and you leant your head on his shoulder. It felt easy, and you ignored the way your stomach fluttered, just enjoying being by him for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and chapter seven is done!
> 
> Well done to everyone who guessed that Number Three is Fandral, you were right! doing the reveal was difficult, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway :)


End file.
